{Verse of the Day}

{Verse of the Day}:

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Right Here Where I Am

You'd think that by age 45, I'd know who I am.
Wife, mother of two grown sons, licensed artist with a blossoming career, newly hatched farm girl....all those things make up my life, but on most days I still wonder..."Who AM I?"

From the time I was a child, I allowed myself to be molded into what or who others told me I either was or what I should be.

Worthless, ugly, homely, clumsy, 'a scrapper,' stupid, just a plain scrawny girl who would never amount to much....unloveable...unwanted....failure

Verbal and physical abuse was normal in my growing up years and it stood to reason that I believed that I deserved more of the same (and sometime metered it out myself) in my young adulthood.

These words and actions by many who claimed to love me, pierced me right to my soul and created a multitude of scars that my heart still carries today.
These were the false truths that I claimed and they crowded out any sense of worth that I should have had.
Needless to took broken relationships with relatives, a failed marriage, and ultimately the desire to end it all before God was able to get my full attention by whispering into my ear "Don't you know that you mean something to Me? Don't you know that you were made for so much more? Don't you know I have plans for you? This is not the end of your story."

I heard Him loud and clear on what I was about to turn into the darkest of days.
He met me right there where I the middle of my biggest mess and He embraced me. 
 No words of condemnation, no threats or words of insult. I was screwing up...again...and He showed me love in the middle of it.
I heard His whispers and they ignited a small ember of hope in me that I carried through the next few years of struggle, before allowing it to grow into a tiny flame.
Now, 13 years is becoming a consuming fire, an all passionate NEED to not only know Him that created me, but to know who He created ME to be.

This blog will be the record of my journey, along with stories of my past, as I cling to HIS Word and promises - not the false hopes and hurts from others - but HIS - His alone as I discover the person He intends for me to be.

I'm sure you've heard this said before, but let me tell you I am living proof:
God DOES meet you right there wherever you the middle of your mess, your loneliness, your hurt and frustration.
He met me there and he's waiting there (wherever YOUR "there" is) for you...and He loves us way WAY too much to leave us in the situations we're facing.

I hope my posts here will encourage you on YOUR journey.
Thank you for sharing your time with me.

1 comment:

  1. You have brought me to tears Jen...I too struggle with who I am in God's my season of life I have great uncertaintys about what the future holds. I try to get through each day one minute at a time. Your blog is a Blessing to me. Huge Hugs dear friend